Imagine your happiest moment in life. Maybe it’s a memory of your loved one with their arms wrapped tight around you or a fleeting flash of your eyes first opening as a babe, experiencing the rush of light and warmth that is consciousness.
Now multiply that feeling by 10.
This may seem like an exaggeration, but if you’ve ever tasted a single cheddar and sour cream-flavored chip, then you know it’s TRUTH. When you’ve got a craving for something a little cheesy and a bit salty, these chips will obliterate your tastebuds. You’ll be taken to a different dimension of taste and experience a kaleidoscopic waterfall of flavor on your tongue.
When you first grab a bag of these chips, take it slow. Don’t bust open the bag and shovel them in like some starving savage. Instead, carefully pull apart the bag, so as not to spill any precious crumbs. Then, waft in the smell. Many compare the scent to the underside of a foot or the odor of a sock drawer, but this is essential to the chip-eating experience. True chip connoisseurs understand the strong, somewhat repulsive scent of flavored chips only increases the umami of the snack food.
Once your nostrils have their fill, select a single chip and bring it to your mouth. This step is crucial: one wrong move, and you miss out on the full consumption of flavor, so pay attention. First, stick your tongue out a bit and then gently lay the side of the chip with the most seasoning directly on the surface of your tongue. This will allow for even distribution across your palate—each taste bud will receive a sprinkle of that creamy, cheesy goodness.
Now, you’ll want to bring down your chompers on this bad boy. Part of the satisfaction of chip eating is in the crunch, so don’t be shy. Mash that chip into tiny shards, but before you swallow, let the tiny jagged bits melt inside your mouth for a minute. This final act will allow you to absorb any taste you may have missed so far, and knowing this, you can swallow and repeat the process with the next chip.
At the end of the bag, you need to dump the leftover crumblies into your mouth. Never waste food, especially delicious chips!
Nothing goes together quite like sour cream and cheddar on a chip. Luscious creaminess meets melty cheesiness with a crunch. Perfection. Next time you’re sitting down for a long gaming session, make sure you have a bag of these next to you. Your tastebuds will thank you.
The Couch Bandits 